Trump & Musk Return from vacation on Mars:
In a surprise turn of events that has astrophysicists, political analysts, and Instagram influencers equally confused, Donald J. Trump and Elon Musk have reportedly made an orbital pit stop for some high-quality selfies on their way back from a “much-needed vacation on Mars.” Yes, Mars. The red one. Not the candy bar.
Now with Selfies, Curvature is proven Fuckt!
Proof of Curvature, Finally
While floating in zero gravity somewhere between Earth and Mars, the pair snapped a series of glamorous space selfies, captioned:
“Just chillin’ in orbit. And yes folks, the Earth is round. Sorry flat-earthers, we’ve got curvature.”
Trump was quoted as saying, “It’s the most beautiful curve. Everyone’s talking about it. The best curve. Better than Ivanka’s stock portfolio.” Musk, meanwhile, casually livestreamed the moment while auto-tuning his voice and sending Dogecoin to a Martian wallet.
Mars: Not Just Dust and Despair
Upon being asked about their interplanetary getaway, Musk confirmed:
“It’s more of a soft launch for Mars Resort™ 2040. We were doing some… quality testing.”
Trump added: “Tremendous place. The best. Sand, but classy sand. And we found water. And not just water – tequila, whisky, vodka! The Russians got there first. Left their bar open, very unprofessional. Sputnik happy hour still going on.”
The Russian Mystery Bar
Satellite data reportedly confirms the existence of an abandoned Martian minibar, likely left by an early Soviet mission that may or may not have gotten a little too celebratory. When asked about it, a retired cosmonaut winked and said, “What happens on Mars stays on Mars… unless the Americans find it.”
NASA Responds
NASA issued a statement in response:
“While we cannot confirm the presence of alcohol on Mars, we strongly recommend our astronauts stick to Tang and hydration packs. We also remind the public that Earth’s curvature has been scientifically observable for centuries – even without selfies.”
In Closing
As the duo re-enters Earth’s atmosphere – one thing is clear: space tourism just got a lot weirder.
If this is the future of planetary exploration, we suggest packing your sunglasses, an ego the size of a launch pad, and maybe a designated alien bartender.
VacatiON
The image depicts two men in convertible car. The man on the right, behind the wheels, looks like Elon Musk, is wearing a yellow Hawaiian shirt with white flowers, a tan fedora hat, and sunglasses. He is holding the steering wheel with both hands and looking straight ahead. He is positioned in front, which dominates the bottom right corner of the frame.
The passenger, that looks like Donald Trump, is wearing a black suit jacket over a pink shirt and has short blond hair, he is on the seat beside.
The car is white and has a black steering wheel and interior. The top is down, and the windshield is visible on the right side of the image.
The background is a blue sky with a few clouds, and a body of water is visible in the distance. The overall atmosphere suggests a sunny day at the beach or by the ocean, with the two men enjoying a leisurely drive in a convertible car.
Martian Joyride: Earth in the Rearview
After a chill getaway on Mars – where, according to sources, the minibar was fully stocked with vodka, tequila, and questionable Russian dance music, Elon and Don took a little orbital detour for one last space selfie.
Elon, ever the pilot, kept it casual in his Hawaiian shirt and fedora, while Trump – still dressed for a boardroom, not a rocket – appeared slightly confused by the lack of golf courses on Mars.
With Earth now photobombing their space convertible ride, the duo insists they’ve confirmed visible curvature and superior vacation vibes off-planet.
“The Earth? Still there. Still round. Sad for flat-earthers. Great for real estate ads.” – DJT
“Launching Mars Uber next. Hold my tequila.” – EM
The only question left: Did they actually make it to Mars, or is this just the most expensive CGI ride in history?
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